Every Tuesday before the overnight, Captain Ralph packed us into the dining hall for Leaders' Huddle and said some version of the same thing, like he assumed we'd all forgotten it since last Tuesday, which, in fairness, some of us had. We were expected to show up as "35 year old mature fathers." Thirty-five, because … Continue reading 35. Mature. Father. (Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad)
Category: Family
Full Weight
His full weight is on my head right now. Not the usual squirm-and-point, not the shouting and leaning over to check my face every ten seconds. He’s just dead weight, slumped against me like I’m a piece of furniture. He’s worn out. And so, apparently, am I. Most days up on my shoulders he’s a … Continue reading Full Weight
Forward
He doesn’t know it yet, but he was literally standing on the edge of something. The water going still and gold in front of him. The sun dropping low over a mountain that’s watched sixty summers of boys grow up on this very lake before he ever took a breath. My son just stood there, … Continue reading Forward
Into a Headwind
The headwind never let up. Not a gust here and there, not some squall that blew through and passed. It leaned against us the whole way out. A headwind slows you down and keeps you from getting where you want to go. My wife sat up front. Our son was tucked in the bow ahead … Continue reading Into a Headwind
Shoes to Fill
You found my boots by the door the other day. My big boots, the ones without laces because I had just finished cleaning them for another season at camp. You climbed in before I could stop you, both feet swallowed whole, and stood there grinning up at me like you’d done something amazing. “Dada!” You … Continue reading Shoes to Fill
Can’t Wait to be Your Friend
Today we went down the slide together. You didn’t hesitate or overthink or test the edge with one foot. You just went with reckless abandon.You’re fearless in a way I used to be and want to be again. I watch you climb up things too big, run toward things too fast, and trust my arms … Continue reading Can’t Wait to be Your Friend
It’s Not Your Birthday Cake
When you realize the birthday cake is for Jesus and not you… The singing hadn’t even finished. The cake was still intact. And my son was already done with his head on the table, and arms folded in. No drama… just pure, honest exhaustion. I keep coming back to this photo because it feels familiar … Continue reading It’s Not Your Birthday Cake
Forward To The Far Horizon
Weddings have a way of slowing time. Everyone else was talking, laughing, and toasting, but I found myself crouched low, watching my son crawl across the hardwood floor. The sunlight poured through the curtains, throwing long shadows of a man bent low and a boy moving forward. And in that moment, I wasn’t thinking about … Continue reading Forward To The Far Horizon
Why I Hate My Birthday
I hate my birthday. Not in the shallow “I’m getting old” way, but in the hollow way where the day feels like it should be full, but it isn’t. My brother and I were twins. For as long as I can remember, this day was ours. We blew out candles together. We fought over who … Continue reading Why I Hate My Birthday
Somewhere to Sleep
Life’s busy right now. Camp is in full swing. I wake up thinking about schedules and staffing and emails I haven’t sent. The days are long, the work is constant, and honestly, I’ve felt the weight of missing time with my son. I don’t get many slow moments with him lately. Not like I used … Continue reading Somewhere to Sleep
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