35. Mature. Father. (Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad)

Every Tuesday before the overnight, Captain Ralph packed us into the dining hall for Leaders' Huddle and said some version of the same thing, like he assumed we'd all forgotten it since last Tuesday, which, in fairness, some of us had. We were expected to show up as "35 year old mature fathers." Thirty-five, because … Continue reading 35. Mature. Father. (Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad) →

Full Weight

His full weight is on my head right now. Not the usual squirm-and-point, not the shouting and leaning over to check my face every ten seconds. He’s just dead weight, slumped against me like I’m a piece of furniture. He’s worn out. And so, apparently, am I. Most days up on my shoulders he’s a … Continue reading Full Weight →

Forward

He doesn’t know it yet, but he was literally standing on the edge of something. The water going still and gold in front of him. The sun dropping low over a mountain that’s watched sixty summers of boys grow up on this very lake before he ever took a breath. My son just stood there, … Continue reading Forward →

Into a Headwind

The headwind never let up. Not a gust here and there, not some squall that blew through and passed. It leaned against us the whole way out. A headwind slows you down and keeps you from getting where you want to go. My wife sat up front. Our son was tucked in the bow ahead … Continue reading Into a Headwind →

Shoes to Fill

You found my boots by the door the other day. My big boots, the ones without laces because I had just finished cleaning them for another season at camp. You climbed in before I could stop you, both feet swallowed whole, and stood there grinning up at me like you’d done something amazing. “Dada!” You … Continue reading Shoes to Fill →

Can’t Wait to be Your Friend

Today we went down the slide together. You didn’t hesitate or overthink or test the edge with one foot. You just went with reckless abandon.You’re fearless in a way I used to be and want to be again. I watch you climb up things too big, run toward things too fast, and trust my arms … Continue reading Can’t Wait to be Your Friend →

It’s Not Your Birthday Cake

When you realize the birthday cake is for Jesus and not you… The singing hadn’t even finished. The cake was still intact. And my son was already done with his head on the table, and arms folded in. No drama… just pure, honest exhaustion. I keep coming back to this photo because it feels familiar … Continue reading It’s Not Your Birthday Cake →

I Saw God on the Train

This poem shares its title with a piece by Lucas Jones, whose work first sparked the idea. While Jones’s original inspired the premise — a chance encounter with God on a train — I’ve rewritten it entirely from the ground up. Where the original takes its own path, this version is grounded in a distinctly … Continue reading I Saw God on the Train →

Numbered, Weighed, Divided

https://youtu.be/siWfuqXft8Q?si=mAc87Ub8W6hnvjzU There’s a strange thing that happens in the wilderness. You can feel completely safe, totally at ease, right up until the moment you realize how wrong you were. I’ve had trips like that. One in particular still sits in my memory. We were hiking a stretch of trail that followed a ridge above a … Continue reading Numbered, Weighed, Divided →

The Long Winter of Jehoiachin

https://youtu.be/qPqtwrOU7wY?si=OomXvAWHpdwmklb2&t=2037 Living in upstate New York long enough, you know what’s coming. That edge in the air. The way the wind starts to whisper through the trees differently. The daylight shrinking just a little earlier each evening. You can feel winter getting ready to settle in. Last year at this time, my family and I … Continue reading The Long Winter of Jehoiachin →