Growing Up In Your Twenties

I just celebrated my 29th birthday. And it’s true what they say about time passing faster as you age. Years blend into years as though one long stretch of time. But hitting specific milestones has caused me to look back and reflect. This birthday was the first that felt different in a while. How I think of myself and who I am is distinct from who I was before.

The key to growing up in your twenties is to learn the difference between license and liability. It’s the contrast between having the right to do what you want or the responsibility to do what is required. When I was younger, I saw adults with dream cars, nice houses, big boats, and fancy toys. It was obvious to me that when I got older, it would be my right to wield the power to have whatever I want.

However, things didn’t turn out the way I hoped. I was 17 when I earned my driver’s license. It was the summer before my senior year of high school. My parents gifted me a ’94 Mazda Protege—the keys to freedom. No longer did I have to take the bus or ask my parents for rides to friends’ houses. Having the license to drive was my first taste of power.

My new license came with a few restrictions. I had to pay any traffic violations, perform the necessary maintenance, get auto insurance, be home before curfew, pick up groceries after school, and drive my little brother around. Suddenly, the power I received from earning my license felt a lot more like a liability.

But this should only be a minor setback, right? I believed that, at some age, liability would no longer exist and would be replaced with the license to do whatever I want. The question became, when would I have all rights and no responsibility? After I finish college? Move out of parents’ house? Get married? Nope, no, and definitely not. I gained more responsibility with every birthday. Each time I passed a milestone of license, a greater weight of liability fell on my shoulders.

We wrongly assume that freedom is found in a world rid of responsibility. However, liberty is found in the balance between license and liability.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11

Growing up requires changing the way we think. We must experience a paradigm shift from the pursuit of license to liability. When we embrace liability, we accept responsibility to protect the rights of others. But irresponsible license begins to look a lot like entitlement.

We have a choice to make: we can either continue to chase after license and demand our rights are honored regardless of how we view others’ rights—or we can choose responsibility. We can decide to protect the rights of others throughout our communities. This is what it means to be a citizen. Rights without responsibility is an impossibility, and a life without liability has no purpose.