Recently, I had the honor of offering a message during a very good friend’s wedding. Having only just celebrated my two year anniversary with my wife, I can hardly make a claim for expertise in the topic. The task quickly became humbling as—more than ever—I trusted God to give me words that would have significant truth. No matter where you are, in singleness or in marriage, I pray this may be an encouragement to you.
A wedding is a miraculous occasion. Scripture tells us that through this holy union, a miracle occurs as two become as one in the Lord’s eyes. There is a transformation of each person’s spiritual identity that cannot be perceived in the physical realm. In this moment, God is at work through the invisible involvement of the Holy Spirit.
Some couples believe that the wedding is the best day of their life. Young ones dream of their wedding day for years before they even meet their future spouse. But if this was the top of the mountain—the peak and pinnacle—the very best—wouldn’t that be a shame? The wedding day is only the beginning. It’s the first in of a series of days that will get better, and sometimes worse, but mostly better and better to the very end.
Think of “the perfect” married couple. What comes to mind? You might imagine a youthful husband and wife, holding eachother tightly with vibrant smiles and their whole lives ahead of them. It’s absolutely beautiful.
Still, I would like to paint a different picture of marriage. It’s a late autumn afternoon and we see an elderly couple sitting on a park bench. Their tired and worn hands gently rest in the other’s comfort. In silence they watch the setting sun and enjoy the last warmth before the coming winter. Every word of romance has been said, all passion exhausted, and all storms have ceased. Their entire lives are now behind them—and yet every moment is present in the quiet warmth of the evening. As they reflect back on two lives well lived—they are ready—and they are filled with joy. In the eyes of our Heavenly Father, this is the most wonderful vision of marriage. It his desire for us to have a long, resilient hopeful and steadfast marriage that endures.
What is the key to an enduring marriage, you ask? I’d point you to my grandfather who just celebrated 65 years of happiness with my grandmother. Don’t worry, I asked him for you and want to know what he said? It was something so simple and yet profoundly rich in flavor. I’d ask you to deeply consider the weight of his answer, “First, Love Christ. Second, Love like Christ.” Simple, right? It’s Christian Belief 101—and yet it’s also the secret to marriage? Christ must remain at the forefront of your life! He is the pursuit—he is the prize! He is everything and when we run after him with all that is within us, we will learn to love the precious gifts that he has entrusted to us. Paul writes in Colossians chapter three,
“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above”!
Colossians 3:1-2a
A wedding day is only one moment—a brief blip in time. If you were to stop and look backward, there is an entire eternity of moments that have come before this one and if you could peer beyond, you’d see a eternity of moments that are yet to come. Then try to zoom back and look at the big picture of eternity past and eternity future—we’d see that the moment we are in is so small that it barely exists. And yet these are our moments. Our very lives are gifts from God with which we have been entrusted. And the best way to make the most of what we have is to remember that it’s not about this life. The consequences and rewards that we experience in our day are nothing compared to eternity.
So don’t waste your days. Love your wife. Love your husband. Love your neighbor the way Christ loves you. Because these people that we have been blessed to care for are not just moments, but children of God who have been graciously granted a place in eternity. And our gift is the opportunity to love others now, because this moment will never come again.
Lamentations 3 tells us that,
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning.”
Lamentations 3:21-22
To love like Christ, to have steadfast love, does not require perfection. It requires forgiveness. True faithfulness means mercy that renews every morning.
Finally, let’s take the focus off of the wedding day—if you’re reading this and feel like God is knocking on your heart. Whether you’ve been ignoring him for some time, or you’ve never felt his hand before—I want to encourage you not to waste another moment. Make Christ the focus of your life, today and embrace the steadfast love that he has been holding out to you.
“May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ”
2 Thessalonians 3:5
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